In our house, we have no real tv. As a result, my kids have taken to watching various YouTube channels. Some are silly, like FailArmy. Some are annoying, like all the Minecraft reaction channels. Some are mildly amusing, like iisuperwomanii.
Now I personally prefer binge watching 9 seasons of Supernatural on Netflix inside of two weeks, but that is often thwarted by the YouTube stuff. Recently, my eldest daughter was going through the superwoman channel and landed on a video where the host, Lilly Singh, answered questions from fans.*
I normally cringe at this stuff because the questions tend to be sexual in nature, or just wholly inappropriate for my 12 year old to hear. However, I have to give credit to Ms. Singh for 1) choosing questions that were both funny and appropriate, and 2) answering them honestly.
One of the questions was truly intriguing. Ms. Singh was asked if she was a virgin. I braced for the response…and breathed a sigh of relief with the answer. Yes. She is (or at least was at the time of answering) a virgin. She used to be weird about answering the question because she feared shaming. Shaming for holding onto the very last piece of innocence anyone holds? Shaming for choosing to not engage in something so unique and special it should be reserved for husband and wife? Yep. She thought she would be shamed for admitting to not having sex.
My daughters listened to her response. They paid attention. Here was someone they admire and respect saying that it was perfectly fine to not have sex. Someone who is accomplished, young, funny, smart, successful, and (more importantly) who is NOT mom, voiced her advocacy for being a virgin as long as you can.
In this world of Kim Kardashian dropping clothes faster than the Flash can get across town, here is a breath of fresh air! Now, I have no idea if Ms. Singh is still a virgin, but I did come across a post she made on her Facebook page a couple years ago that bolsters what she said in the video.
Regardless if she is or is not still a virgin, she advocates for those who are! She is doing what she can to take away the weird stigma society gives to 20 somethings who make a choice to not give away that piece of them to just anyone. What’s crazier is that stigma gets worse for those older than 20 something! Why? What good does it do for a woman to go have sex with anyone just because she is “too old” to still be a virgin?
My life choices made sure I did not wait until marriage. I regret that. Of all the decisions I have made in my life, that is the one I wish I could go back and undo. The truth is sex is emotional. Very emotional. You do tie yourself to the person you have sex with. Taking that out of the equation actually allows you to see the relationship through a much clearer lens.
That’s the lesson we should be teaching our children, and especially our daughters. You get one shot at giving that last piece of innocence away. One. Don’t waste it on someone not willing to love you, honor you, and stay with you even in the worst of times. Your body is yours, right up until you give it fully to another. Make a wise choice where that is concerned.
*For the record, I attempted to find the actual video, but there are SEVERAL ask superwoman videos, and I simply could not sift through them all.